Harry Potter And The 6th Year Gone Wrong
by crazy-weasley
Summary: When Harry goes back to school in the sixth year, he finds that everybody has gone wrong... everybody is acting all strange, what will happen? Read to find out.
1. School Starts

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the other related characters. They all belong to J.K. Rowling, the famous author you all know. You know who... Ahhhh.... Enjoy.  
  
Ch 1 Dumbledore's office  
  
  
  
It was a bright sunny day, everyone else was outside the castle, enjoying a free Sunday they earned after a long week at school. Their first week at school. Such a long week. Everyone was enjoying themselves, everyone but Harry.   
  
Harry stood in Dumbledore's office. He stood facing Dumbledore's back waiting for something to happen. Dumbledore had called Harry to his office, but hasn't said anything yet.  
  
Finally, Dumbledore lifted his half moon glasses and smiled. His bright blue eyes twinkled under the moonlight for a moment and he turned to Harry who was staring at him.  
  
'Is there something you wish to tell me?' asked Dumbledore slowly.  
  
'No sir, nothing.' said Harry still staring at him.  
  
'Are you sure?' asked Dumbledore again, looking very suspiciously at him.  
  
'Yes Professor.' said Harry. 'I'm sure.'  
  
'Really? So you're going to leave your poor headmaster here to figure out what you're want to ask him, aren't you. And you are going to laugh at him if he can't figure it out. Am I right?' Dumbledore said.  
  
'What makes you think that I've got something to ask you.' said Harry trying not to sound angry.  
  
'What makes me think you've got something to ask me? What'd you mean? It's obvious, isn't it? This morning at the Great Hall, you were staring at me, I asked Professor Mcgonagall, she reckons you've got a question. Ok Harry, out with it.' Dumbledore demanded.  
  
'Professor, I swear I didn't-' started Harry.  
  
'I've giving you one last chance. What do you want to ask me?' said Dumbledore again, looking really angry. Harry cleared his throat.  
  
'Alright, I'll ask you. But don't tell anyone about it.' said Harry, 'Do you know where I might find the boy's bathroom?'  
  
'Oh, so that's what you want to know.' said Dumbledore as he gave a small chuckle.  
  
'Don't laugh, I've only gone to the girl's bathroom where Moaning Mrytle lives, and the prefect's bathroom.' said Harry again softly. He quickly covered his mouth, he wasn't supposed to go to the prefect's or the girl's bathroom. He had gone in to the girl's bathroom in the second year to brew the polyjuice potion and the prefect's bathroom in the forth year. Dumbledore chuckled softly again.  
  
'Oh Harry, Harry, Harry. You've been here for years, haven't you found out where the boy's bathroom is?' Dumbledore giggled.   
  
'Nope.' said Harry.   
  
'Honestly... Harry, there's no boy's bathroom here at Hogwarts, only the prefects bathroom and the girl's bathroom, and the one that I saw once that disappeared...' said Dumbledore. He paused to think, then his expression suddenly changed. 'It disappeared! What happened to it?' Dumbledore looked really angry. He walked forward to pull Harry's hair.  
  
'I swear I don't know. One minute it was there and it was gone. It was like magic!' Harry yelled, trying to explain as Dumbledore pulled him to his cupboard, threw Harry in and locked him inside.  
  
'There's no such thing as magic!' Dumbledore said angrily, spraying spit all over.  
  
  
  
Harry sat in the cupboard for a long time and waited patiently, he wasn't giving in. Finally, when Dumbledore opened to let him out. It was already nine in the night, as on his watch.  
  
'Get out of here, you've dirtied my cupboard. I need to sleep, move.' said Dumbledore as he pushed Harry out and climbed in. 'Don't disturb me, get back to your common room now. You shall not disturb my beauty sleep...musn't have dark rings around my eyes...'  
  
Harry quickly walked out and met Ron on his way back to their common room.  
  
'Harry! Where were you? Pigging out at the Great Hall all this while? Why are you wearing glasses?' Ron asked.  
  
'Ron, I always wear glasses.' said Harry.  
  
'I didn't notice that.' said Ron fiddling with his wand.  
  
'And in case you didn't notice, I just walked out of Dumbledore's office-' started Harry.  
  
'He must be guarding something, something in Dumbledore's office. The philosopher's stone, perhaps?' Hermione's voice came from the stairs behind them.  
  
'Herm-' said Harry but the stairs started moving. The three of them held on to the sides for support. Suddenly there was a loud crash and Hermione screamed. Harry and Ron watched her as she ran down to retrive her books that had fallen off when the stairs changed.  
  
'Harry!' said Ron looking surprised.  
  
'What?' asked Harry, annoyed.  
  
'Do you have that... that scar?' asked Ron pointing at Harry's forehead.   
  
'Ron, what's the matter with you, you're acting very odd.' said Harry.  
  
'Really? What's wrong with that? Besides, I have a stomach ache.' said Ron as he walked off. Hermione came hurrying up a few seconds later.  
  
'Where's Ron?' asked Hermione. 'I thought he was here a few min- and holy cricket! You're Harry Potter, I'm Hermione Granger.'  
  
'Whatever.' said Harry. They both headed back to the Gryffindor common room. Ron was already sitting on the crouch, reading a letter. Neville was walking around quickly, looking very panicky.  
  
'I've lost my toad Hermione, help me look for it... Trevor! Trevor!' Neville said Tearfully.  
  
'Harry, Mum's wrote to me a letter, she's asking you whether you wanted to stay over for christmas this year.' said Ron waving a piece of parchment in his hands.  
  
'But Ron, Christmas is months away.' said Harry.  
  
'Is that a "no"?' asked Ron looking rather disappointed.  
  
'That's not what I meant, I- Ron?' asked Harry but Ron had already walked off.  
  
'What an idiot.' Harry heard Hermione saying, 'Neville, do you remember where you had last seen Trevor?'  
  
'Errr... I saw it sitting on the kettle in my home a few days ago. Hadn't seen it then, and...' Neville was saying. Harry headed to the boy's dormitary.  
  
Harry and Ron was sitting in the great hall the next morning as Professor Mcgonagall gave out the new timetables.  
  
'Awww... Potions today... thought we could drop that.' said Ron to Harry, 'Didn't expect a Outstanding for potions, did you?'  
  
'Well least we've got half a day off.' said Harry. But Oliver Wood popped out of somewhere.  
  
'Quidditch training today, I'm going to train you all up so that you can join my team when you leave school, the Wood United League! Hip, Hip, Hurray! Go Wood United...'  
  
'Bloody hell!' said Ron.  
  
'Wood! What are you doing here?' yelled Harry.  
  
'Sorry, missed you guys so much.' said Wood. 'I've got Angelina, Katie, Fred and George already. Ron, you can be my reserve, Harry, I want you as my seeker. Ginny can be the other chaser. Wow! We'll make the best team in the whole world.' Wood started staring dreamily into the air.  
  
'What about me?' asked Hermione walking towards the Gryffindor table.  
  
'You don't play Quidditch.' said Wood.  
  
'Well... I do now.' said Hermione.  
  
'Wicked.' said Ron.  
  
'Wow, look at the books you are carrying! You must the most-books-quidditch-player in a century.' said Wood.  
  
'In two centuries, you mean. I read about it in Hogwarts: A history.' said Hermione.  
  
'Anyway, see you later, remember this afternoon. Don't be late.' said Wood as he disappeared somewhere.  
  
'Oh no, we've double transfiguration today.' said Neville.  
  
  
  
Transfiguration went horribly wrong, first, Harry transfigured his chicken into a pig with feathers, then Ron made his chicken disappear. Neville killed his chicken. Not surprisingly, only Hermione managed to turn hers into a duck.   
  
The walked across the pumpkin patch for care for magical creatures. Hagrid stood beside his hut and smiled at them when they arrived.  
  
'All righ' Harry.' he said waving at Harry.  
  
'Hi Hagrid. Yeah, I'm fine, what's there to be wrong? If there's anything wrong, it will be wrong.' said Harry without thinking as Hagrid continued waving and smiling at him.  
  
'Yeh all righ' then, Harry?' said Hagrid waving at Harry.  
  
'Yes, I said I'm fine.' said Harry. Hagrid smiled and waved at Harry again.  
  
'Training for Witch weekly's most charming smile award? You great brainless oaf.' Malfoy's sneering voice drawled. Hagrid covered his face and started sobbing. He ran back to his hut.  
  
'Hagrid! Hagrid!' yelled Harry but Hagrid had already slamed the door shut. Harry turned back to Malfoy.  
  
'So, it's true, what they said on the train, Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts. This is Crabbe and Goyle, and I'm Malfoy, Draco Malfoy.' said Malfoy.  
  
'I know that, Malfoy.' said Harry.  
  
'Is it true? Have we met before?' asked Malfoy suspiciously.  
  
'Shut up Malfoy.' said Harry starting to flare up.  
  
'No, I won't. Besides, if anyone cares to notice, some wizard families are better than others, you don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort, perhaps, I can help you with that.' said Malfoy holding his hand up for Harry to shake.  
  
'Get lost, Malfoy.' said Harry. Malfoy sneered again and walked away with Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
'Wicked! Harry, you've met him before? Dad reckons his family is one of the darkest-' said Ron.  
  
'Yeah, I know that.' said Harry, 'What's wrong with you people anyway?'  
  
Ron shrugged.  
  
'Harry, have you seen my prefect's badge? I've been made a prefect, you know.' said Ron.  
  
  
  
Harry and Ron ran up to the common room for the broomsticks for quidditch practice. Harry quickly pull out his Firebolt from his cupboard. Ron looked over at Harry and his spiltted into a huge smile.  
  
'Harry, wow! The new Firebolt, how'd you get it? It's the fastest of all.' said Ron.  
  
They walked down and met Hermione and Ginny waiting for them.  
  
'What took you?' asked Ginny. They walked into the quidditch field and found Wood.  
  
'Ok listen up. We have two new chasers, there were only one who's was on out team last year,-' said Wood.  
  
'How'd you know all that stuff? You weren't here last year.' said Harry.  
  
'He wasn't?' asked Ron. Wood glared at them.  
  
'As I was saying, last year, our Ginny was a seeker, she's now our new chaser. I'm your captain. I'll train you all up, but I can't play, Dumbledore just won't bend the rules, like he did a few years back when Slytherin captain Marcus Flint was able to play after he graduated. Ok, Ron can still be keeper. We have two lousy beaters, they won't join our Wood United league after the graduate. And of course our seeker who never fails to catch the snitch, except once in my seventh year.' Wood bellowed.  
  
'Well, he still did.' said Hermione.  
  
'Shut up Herm-own-ninny.' said Wood, 'Herm-own-ninny is one of the new chasers, the other kid is not here, what's his name? The round boy.'  
  
'Sorry I'm late, dozed off, did I missed anything?' said the round boy running over with a broomstick. It was Neville.  
  
'Ahhh... we can't have him! We'll lose.' Hermione screamed.  
  
'Ah, I remember, Longbottom, seems only yesterday, your granny was here riding on her broomstick, and I remember her asking me to let you in the team.' said Wood.  
  
'It sure was yesterday, did I missed anything?' Neville repeated.  
  
'Yes, a girl was taken, by me, as a reserve in Wood United League.' said Wood.  
  
'Wicked!' said Ron.  
  
'Can we start now?' asked Harry, eagerly mounting his Firebolt.  
  
Snap.  
  
'Hi Harry! I'm Colin Creevy, I'm in Gryffindor too!' said Colin holding up his camera preparing to take another picture.  
  
'No taking pictures of our new seeker, I want to keep it a secret.' said Wood.  
  
'New seeker?' asked Harry. Ginny saw Colin, walked over and started talking to him. Harry was able to catch some phrases before Wood ushered him to move along and was sure he had heard, 'Harry Potter Fan Club'.  
  
We were having dinner at the great hall that evening. Harry was trying to make sure he didn't look into Dumbledore eyes again. He didn't want to spend another few hours in Dumbledore's cupboard.  
  
But Dumbledore was too busy enjoying the attention to look at Harry. He sat at the teacher's table doing up spells over the sea of admiring students.  
  
Dumbledore conjured up a Patronus and everyone started clapping. Dumbledore smiled looking pleased.  
  
'Wow. That's really great. I've never seen anyone do that before.' said Hermione sacarstically.   
  
'Really? Harry, have you seen one before? I've never seen, it's really cool, not every wizard can do that, you know?' said Ron clapping as Dumbledore conjured it again.  
  
'Ron, we practiced that during the D.A. thing last year, remember?' whispered Hermione.  
  
'What do you want to see right now?' asked Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling. Ron's hand shot up immediately.  
  
'I want you to make someone appear.' he shouted. Hermione tutted.  
  
'Ok, I'll make your brother appear. Make way everyone, Accio Percy Weasley!' Dumbledore shouted. At first, there was nothing, then there was a scream and Percy came crashing through the wall.  
  
'Excuse me, I was a prefect and head boy of this school, you cannot do this to me, I shall not be treated like that. Some people just don't listen to prefects. I'll make you write lines. I'm the new Mr. Fudge personal assistant and I say that you-'  
  
'Can you make him disappear?' shouted a Hufflepuff Harry didn't recgonise.  
  
'Oh, of course I can.' said Dumbledore, he pointed his wand and yelled, 'Stupefy!' A jolt of red light blasted out of his wand and shot towards Snape instead. The next second, Snape flew and crashed through the wall and disappeared into the darkness.  
  
'Errr... oops... Ok everyone, it's nine already, move it, back to your common rooms, off to bed. I need to sleep.' Dumbledore said and walked off.  
  
Nobody moved, Percy was still talking to himself.  
  
'... wait till Mr. Fudge hears about this. I'm his personal assistant, I used to be Mr. Crouch's...'  
  
'Hurry up, off to bed, I need the hall, I've got ballet practice next.' Snape said emerging from the darkness, 'Get back or I'll deduct points from your houses.'  
  
'Gryffindors! Follow me!' said Percy.  
  
'He still thinks that he's a prefect, that Percy.' said Ron to Harry as they walked back to their common room, 'At least now I don't have to lead them.'  
  
'Is he on talking terms with your dad now?' asked Harry.  
  
'You mean Percy, he came back, right after Fudge- Harry? Is that you? Where were you? We were in the great hall, did you know? Dumbledore was showing us some stuff he could do, oh, you missed it. Where were you anyway? Having detention with Lockhart?' asked Ron laughing.  
  
'What do you mean? I was with you all along. I was in the great hall.' said Harry.  
  
'Wicked! I didn't know.' said Ron, his ears turned pink.  
  
'What an idiot.' said Hermione as she swept past. 


	2. Nothing Happens Really

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in the story, so sad. Ok. None of the character is mine, actually, as you all know, they belong to JK Rowling. Nothing belongs to me, except the stupid plot.  
  
Ch2 Dobby Rewarded  
  
The next day, the three of them were in the dungeon for potions. Snape had to allow the three to continue taking potions because Malfoy himself did so badly. Snape wanted to allow Malfoy to continue and had no reason to disallow them. However, not everyone who could continue did so. Neville, surprisingly scored well, but decided not to take potions although his grandmother encouraged him to keep continuing. He told her that he wouldn't take it if it was the last subject on earth - which was a good thing because Snape couldn't take another point from Gryffindor if Neville made a mess of his potion. But that didn't give Snape any reason not to take away any point from any other Gryffindor, he took away twenty because Harry spilled his hot boiling concotion on the floor and burnt a large hole in it. He took ten from Ron for not brewing in right and another ten from Seamus for talking back.  
  
They walk to the great hall for lunch. Ron couldn't stop swearing.  
  
'That greasy git! One day, when I have the chance, I'll...' said Ron. Hermione was smiling, she probably had something going on in her mind.  
  
'Hermione, what are you smiling for?' asked Harry while Ron continued grumbling. ('When I become headmaster of this school, he'll be the first to be chucked out.')  
  
'Oh, it's just that...' said Hermione smiling.  
  
'What? I can't hear you.' said Harry. Ron stopped complaining.  
  
'It's nothing, I'm just very...' said Hermione.  
  
'Huh?' asked Harry again.  
  
'Oh, nothing. your so farlour-kingmfph... Errr... nevermind.' said Hermione still smiling.  
  
'Hermione?' asked Harry.  
  
'...you...funny look... nevermind.' said Hermione.  
  
'What? Tell us.' demanded Ron impatiently.  
  
'Hermione? What's wrong?' Harry asked.  
  
'Yeah, you're all wrong, Hermione, did you-' said Ron. Hermione started crying and ran off.  
  
'Thanks Ron, now you've scared her off.' said Harry.  
  
'What? I didn't know she's... What's got into her anyway?' asked Ron, 'she comes to tell us something, I just- Harry? What are you doing here?'  
  
'Huh? What what am I doing here?' asked Harry.  
  
'I thought... do you live here?' asked Ron.  
  
'Let's go.' said Harry as he walked back to the common room leaving a confused Ron behind.  
  
'I'm going to the great hall for lunch, you go back yourself.' Ron called after.  
  
Harry climbed into the common room and found Hermione sitting alone buried with books. She was sobbing silently.  
  
'Hermione? Are you ok?' asked Harry as he found a small space and sat beside her.  
  
'I'm fine.' she replied.  
  
'What happened? What were you saying?' asked Harry.  
  
'Oh Harry, I thought you'll never ask, I thought I won't ever get the chance to tell you.' said Hermione softly.  
  
'Yes?' asked Harry feeling that he might not want to hear what she was about to say.  
  
'Ok,' said Hermione breathing deeply, 'I wanted to tell you t-that, you looked really funny just now, there was a feather on your head. I was laughing at it and Ron scolded me.'  
  
'Ron didn't scold you, he just-'  
  
'But he raised his voice at me, isn't that called scolding?' asked Hermione, 'I thought you both were my best friends but Ron scolded me, he isn't my best friend anymore.'  
  
'I think that you are a little over sensitive, Ron wouldn't-' started Harry.  
  
'I am not!' said Hermione. Harry jumped. 'I am not over sensitive! Anyway, care to join the S.P.E.W.? It's a walfare to protect the rights of house elves.'  
  
'But Hermione, I've joined already-' said Harry.  
  
'Does it mean you won't join?' asked Hermione looking disappointed.  
  
'No, I joined already, remember, together with Ron.'  
  
'Stop giving excuses, just say it, you won't join, I hate hearing stupid excuses, I'm sick of it. It's just buying a badge and wearing it. Alright, how about this, I'll pay for your badge, you'll just wear it.' she said forcing a badge into Harry's hand. 'You'll wear it, won't you?'  
  
'Errr... Ok.' said Harry.  
  
'That's better.' said Hermione as she packed her books and left. Ron appeared at the fat lady potrait.  
  
'Harry! Where were you, I was looking all over the castle for you, we were walking from the dungeons when you disappeared, why didn't you tell me, you just disappeared so suddenly, I didn't know, did you disapparated?' Ron asked.  
  
'I told you I was leaving, didn't I?' asked Harry.  
  
'Errr... Didn't realise that. Can we sleep now?' asked Ron.  
  
'No, it's still early, it's still day, come on, we have Defence against the Dark Arts now.' said Harry as they started walking out.  
  
'Who's our new defence against dark arts teacher anyway?' asked Harry.  
  
'Obviously, it's professor Quirrell.' said Ron.  
  
'Oh come on Ron, how can it be Quirrell? He's already dead, besides, Dumbledore wouldn't allow him here if he's still alive, he would most probably be in azkaban. We're are having Snape as our new defence against the dark arts teacher.' said Hermione appearing.  
  
'Snape? He's teaching us defence against the dark arts?' asked Harry. 'What about potions?'  
  
'It's obvious, Quirrell is teaching us potions.' said Ron.  
  
'Ron, Quirrell is dead, I bet Lockhart's taking us for potions.' said Hermione smiling dreamily.  
  
'Lockhart's gotten his memory back? When?' asked Harry.  
  
'Yeah, when?' asked Hermione.  
  
'I asking you, Hermione.' said Harry feeling slightly confused.  
  
'Oh, you're asking me, and- Lockhart's got his memory back?' asked Hermione. They arrived at the defence against the dark arts room. Last year, it was decorated with pink streamers, horrible smelling flowers and ugly mad-eye moody-looking eyes cats. This year, there was many potraits of old man sitting on old rocking chairs.   
  
They were all sleeping. It seemed as if Dumbledore had extended his office here. Everyone looked around. On the teacher's table, was a few hour glass, a bowl of soup, some toilet paper, some funny clicking silver instruments, a few pieces of parchments, stacks of books, a quill and a bottle of ink.  
  
The only potrait with it's content not sleeping was the one up the stairs. An old man who looked astonishing like Dumbledore was staring at them. His eyes was twinkling. He smiled and walked closer. He walked closer and closer, till he stepped right out of the frame. Several people gasped.  
  
Harry finally realised that it was actually Dumbledore, he had walked out of a door way. Harry was glad that he was not the only one who had mistaken Dumbledore for being a potrait.  
  
'Sorry I'm late, I ran out of face cream and had to get Filch to get me some. You know, I could have arrived on time if he had brought it an hour ago, he only turned up with it fifty minutes ago, well, I needed an hour.' said Dumbledore smiling kindly. Ron gave a disgusted face.  
  
'So, I reckoned you must have guessed that I am your new defence against the dark arts teacher, well, you're right.' said Dumbledore, 'But I don't like teaching defence against dark arts, I prefer transfiguration. So today, I shall teach you how to trasfigure yourselves.'  
  
With that, Dumbledore turned into a chicken, flew into the bowl of soup and turned into... Chicken Soup for the Twinkle Eye. The whole class applauded.  
  
Then class was over, everyone left.  
  
They went down to practice for Quidditch next. Everyone was waiting for them. The two beaters, Vicky and Geoffrey were comparing their bats. Ginny, Wood and neville were talking amongst themselves.   
  
Ron was complaining about the beaters.  
  
'Fred and George were much better, no wonder Wood don't want them. Look at Hooper, he keeps whining, but can't even aim well, stupid idiot. I swear, Fred and George are ten times better, they can hit with their eyes close, that Frobashier girl is no better-' said Ron.  
  
'She's Vicky Frobisher.' corrected Hermione.   
  
'Whatever, she's a- hey, where's Angelina?' said Ron.  
  
'Why should she be here?' asked Harry.  
  
Suddenly, there was a loud crack. Dobby the house elf appeared.  
  
'You are not supposed to apparated or disapparate in this castle.' said Hermione.  
  
'Harry Potter must listen to Dobby, Harry Potter must not play Quidditch today now that history is to repeat itself.' said Dobby.  
  
'What?' asked Harry but the house elf disapparated with a loud crack.  
  
Dumbledore appeared.  
  
'Wood! I thought I banned you from here. Get lost.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'But professor, can't I, just once, I really miss playing Quidditch here, please?' pleaded Wood.  
  
'No! Stupefy.' said Dumbledore as Wood flew over the rest and landed on the ground. He sulked and walked away.  
  
'Ok, it's time to elect out captain to train us. Who votes for me?' asked Hermione raising her hand and looking around, 'I said who here votes for me?'  
  
There was no response. 'Ok, I shal be the captain.' said Hermione.  
  
'Allow me.' said Neville. The two started arguing.  
  
'Professor, can you fly?' asked Ron.  
  
'Oh, who me? Oh yes I can of course, but I don't like flying, it'll only get me all sticky and smelly, and I'll get all muddy and pimples.' said Dumbledore giving a look of disgust, ' Who wants a smelly headmaster. Time to doll up for tonight's party, my skin is getting a little too dry, I need to cream it. '  
  
'Now? It's only two in the afternoon.' said Ron.  
  
'We are having a party tonight?' asked Harry.  
  
'Oh, It's a surprise party- oh I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have said that. No more.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'A surprise party? What for?' asked Harry.  
  
'Oh Harry, It's obvious, It's a reunion party for Quirrell, he and you-know-' said Ron.  
  
'Yeah right. If we are ever going to celebrate for Voldemort, then I'm the smartest witch in the whole level.' said Hermione.  
  
'Aren't you?' asked Ron.  
  
'That's not the point. The point is that, there's no point. We are not celebrating for Quirrell or Voldemort, besides Quirrell is already dead. We're are celebrating the return of Lockhart's and his memory, am I right, Professor?' asked Hermione but Dumbledore had disappeared.  
  
'Lockhart has his memory back?' asked Harry.  
  
'How would I know?' snapped Hermione walking off.  
  
When they finished, night had already fallen. They walked to the geat hall for the supposed-to-be surprise party. Streamers of all colours hung across the room. As they walked in, they were greeted by a foul smelling Filch who was heading to the bathroom to get rid of the dung on his head. Mrs Norris was purring softly at Snape. Snape got irritated and kicked it.  
  
'Stupid Norris. Go away.' he said. Hagrid was drink deeply. Mcgonagall was eating a fish on the table. Sprout was talking to Mdm Prince, Pomfrey was teaching Flitwick how to mend a small wound and Dumbledore was sitting in the table smiling at himself. Dobby was sitting beside him looking nervous.  
  
Harry and Ron walked to the Gryffindor table, they sat opposite Hermione. It was raining heavily outside.  
  
Mcgonagall starting clinking her fork onto her goblet, 'Could I have your attention?'  
  
'You must be wondering what this special occasion is. Why are we celebration.' said Dumbledore, ' It's nothing special really, I just called to celebrate my birthday. As you all know today is my birthday, I expected presents from everyone of you, but today, I got nothing much, I'm greatly disappointed, but I had a gift from someone, a house elf by the name of Dobby gave me a sock, what I always wanted. Therefore, I'm going to give him something in return.'  
  
He stuck his hand into his hand and pulled out something.  
  
'Don't worry, it's not clothes, I won't set you free so easily, I'll award you greatly if you remember my birthday, I present to you, one knut!' said Dumbledore holding it up so that everyone could see it.   
  
'Dobby is thanking master for giving him a knut, Dobby is thanking master for presenting him with money. Dobby is rich.' said Dobby raising his hands to receive it.  
  
'Go get it!' said Dumbledore tossing the knut accross the room as Dobby ran over to pick it up. Dumbledore started laughing loudly.  
  
'Ha ha! har! That's funny, you are a dog! Har! Har!' laugh Dumbledore madly as he began throwing knuts all over the place.   
  
'Mental, that one.' said Ron. Dobby picked up the knuts and counted them.  
  
'Dobby is getting eleven knuts from master! Dobby is happy.'  
  
'Look at these poor house elves, that's why you have to join the SPEW.' Hermione was saying. Food appeared on the golded plates and everyone started eating.  
  
Snape was poking Dumbledore shoulder.  
  
'Headmaster, it's nine, it's time for you to sleep.' said Snape.  
  
'Oh, come on, let me celebrate my birthday.' said Dumbledore, 'It's only once a year, I don't my sacrificing my beauty sleep for big events like this.'   
  
'I've got ballet practice now, you don't expect me to-' started Snape.  
  
'Oh, why don't you try break dancing, it's fun, I'm still learning, it's really difficult, I've been practicing it for two years now, I still cannot get it.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'But I don't get to wear the pink dress if I learn break dancing. Oh please?' asked Snape.  
  
'Well ok. Everyone will please proceed back to their dormitries, everyone except, Snape who's got-' boomed Dumbledore.  
  
'Shhh...' hissed Snape.  
  
'How can he chase us off like that? And why?' said Hermione.  
  
'Because Quirrell is coming and he don't want-' said Ron.  
  
'For goodness sake Ron, Quirrell is dead, you still can't get over can you? I reckon it's because Lockhart is coming, he wants to give us a surprise, that's all.' said Hermione as they both argued their way up.   
  
The next morning, during breakfast at the great hall, there was a great din at the Slytherin table, Crabbe and Goyle were arguing, and for the first time.  
  
'That was mine, I saw it first.' yelled Crabbe.  
  
'No! Mine. It is my food. My food!' Goyle shouted back.  
  
'Give me to that!' Crabbe threatened shaking his fist violently.  
  
'No! It's on my plate, so I must have it.' Goyle said angrily.  
  
'I only let it fall onto your side. But I had it first.' Crabbe was saying. Malfoy sat in between them and continued eating, he didn't seem to care too much about his two big bodyguards.  
  
'Give it to him, there's more on the plate. Look.' said a Slytherin second year. The two stopped arguing immediately and sat down.  
  
Mcgonagall started knocking her spoon onto her goblet, 'May I have your attention?' Dumbledore stood up, cleared his throat and said,   
  
'I'm full.' Next, he sat down.  
  
'Wicked! Harry, he's full.' said Ron.  
  
Dumbledore walked up to Harry, he smiled at him.  
  
'Meet me at my office after breakfast, Harry, there's something I would like you to see.' said Dumbledore before leaving.  
  
'What do you reckon is that all about?' asked Harry.  
  
'Probably going to show you Quirrell's turban.' said Ron.  
  
'Why would Dumbledore wants Harry to see Quirrell's turban? ' asked Hermione, 'Bet you anything he's going to show Harry my test paper, I had an outstanding for Defence against the dark arts.'  
  
'But what about Quirrell's turban, Dumbledore has to show that to Harry.' said Ron.  
  
'Oh, he'll show that tomorrow.' said Hermione.  
  
'What's wrong with you two? Ron, can you stop tickling my food? I need to eat.' said Harry.  
  
'Oh sorry.' said Ron.  
  
Irritated by Ron and Hermione's behavior, Harry decided to look for Dumbledore alone. He walked down to Dumbledore's office wondering what was Dumbledore going to show him.  
  
Before he knew it, he was once again standing beside the stone gargoyle.  
  
'Errr... Sherbet lemon? Errm... Cockcoach cluster, errr... chocolate frogs, lemon drops, honeydukes best chocolates, errr... acid pops? Butter beer, no, that's not-' Harry tried. But a vioce from behind him interrupted.  
  
'Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes.' it said and the stone gargoyle sprang to life. Harry turned and found Dumbledore smiling at him.  
  
'Come in, Harry.' Dumbledore said. Harry followed Dumbledore in.  
  
'Sit Harry.' said Dumbledore. Harry obeyed.  
  
'Yes?' asked Dumbledore staring intensely at Harry.  
  
'Yes what?' asked Harry.  
  
'You were looking for me, weren't you, so what is the problem?' asked Dumbledore.  
  
'No, I mean yes.You told me to-'   
  
'You were outside just now, weren't you looking for me?' asked Dumbledore.  
  
'Yes, but-'   
  
'So?'  
  
'You told me to look for you, just now, at the Great Hall, you said to look for you, after breakfast.' said Harry.  
  
'Really? That's a lie, I never wanted to look for you, when did I ever wanted to see you? Why? Why did you lie to me Harry? Why? I thought I could trust you. I'm so disappointed.' said Dumbledore, his eyes filled with tears.  
  
'But you did said that.' said Harry.  
  
'Oh wait, I remember something like that, oh, I remember saying that,   
  
I'm getting old, I'm forgetting, I'm sorry Harry, I'm sorry I accused you.' said Dumbledore wiping tears away from his eyes, 'I'm really sorry, Harry. Will you forgive me? Will you forgive you poor old headmaster who is so forgiving and feels sorry? Well, will you?'  
  
'Ok.' choked Harry.  
  
'Oh, so you are not going to forgive your poor headmaster who has worked so hard for the school and don't deserve any credit? Are you?' asked Dumbledore turning red.  
  
'No.' said Harry softly.   
  
'Oh yeah? Then, why are you so reluctanted to forgive me?' asked Dumbledore. He stood staring at Harry for a moment, then finally cooled down.  
  
'Why are you looking for me anyway?' he asked.  
  
'You were the one looking for me.' said Harry angrily.  
  
'How dare you lie! I wasn't looking for you and don't you dare shout back at me you rude boy.' Dumbledore growled.  
  
'But-' started Harry.  
  
'I remember. I wanted to see you because, oh I remember now, I wanted to show you this.' said Dumbledore pulling out a piece of parchment. He handed it to Harry.  
  
Harry opened and read out the writings on the front.  
  
'The little puppet saw that the unicorn had no money, he pushed the green doll out of the window. The silver donkey ate the brown carrot and married the princess. There was a rainbow. They lived happily ever after. The end.' read Harry.  
  
'What?' asked Harry.  
  
'Oh sorry, that was an essay I wrote, not this, the back.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'Albus Dumbledore is the most brilliant headmaster ever.' Harry read aloud.  
  
'Oh thanks.' said Dumbledore. Harry stared at him.  
  
'What?'  
  
'Thank you for that comment.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'I was reading.' said Harry waving the parchment.  
  
'Oh, I thought you were praising me. Thought you were so nice...' Dumbledore mumbled.   
  
'Who wrote it?' asked Harry.  
  
'I did, well, you need to go, you have charms, better not be late.' said Dumbledore, 'Oh well, time to sleep, slept fifteen minutes late last night, better sleep before I get wrinkles.' 


	3. Those Really Really Horrible Visions

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in the story.  
  
Ch3 The Horrible Visions  
  
That night, Harry sat in the Gryffindor Common Room doing Snape's essay about the toilet cleaning potion. He scribbled something down from a book, Ron was sitting on the next armchair yawning away. Hermione was knitting hats again.  
  
'Hermione? That hat looks too big for the house elves, you'll need to do a shrinking spell.' said Ron looking bored.  
  
'Oh, they are just right, it's not for house elves, I figured out they don't want them anyway, I've got another plan.' said Hermione looking smug.  
  
'Wow! Is it for Quirrell? I'm think he needs it.' said Ron.  
  
'Nope, besides, he's dead. I doing this for Lockhart, see, it matches his teeth, they are white.' said Hermione. Ron looked greatly dissappointed and sunk back into his chair.  
  
Suddenly, Neville rushed down the stairs looking all panicky, his round face looking all sweaty.  
  
'Trevor! Has anyone... seen my toad? I th... think I lost it, haven't seen it since I c...ame to school. Oh no! The hor...horrors.' panted Neville breathlessly.  
  
'Really.' mumbled Hermione looking annoyed for some reason.  
  
'No.' said Ron casually. Harry shook his head. Neville stared dumbly for a moment and hurried up again.  
  
'Blimey. I think I'll finish this tomorrow.' said Harry throwing his book on the floor as he dragged his feet up.  
  
He quickly changed into his pyjamas and threw himself onto his bed. A few minutes later Ron walked humming a tune. It sounded strangely familiar...   
  
He was drifting off...  
  
He was in a dark room walking... He was heading towards a door at the very far end. His heart was beating faster... He reached the door... He raised his long white fingers to the knob... The door swung opened.  
  
'Where is it?' Harry asked coldly. A small man was kneeling on the floor shaking uncontrollably. 'Where is it, Wormtail?'   
  
'Here... just got it... ' said Wormtail looking terrified. Harry gave a harsh laugh.   
  
'Finally! It's mine, it's a whole complete set.' Harry hissed. He was feeling very happy. He didn't know why, but he knew he had something he wanted very much. 'All mine. You've done well Wormtail.'  
  
'Congratulations, master... you've d...done it.' said Wormtail shakily.  
  
'You'll be rewarded with a knut.' Harry said as he threw something on the floor. 'The day has come, I've finally collected the full set!' Harry laugh loudly, so loudly that his ear hurt. Harry's scar was burning. Wormtail started screaming. His head was bursting with pain. Someone else was screaming.   
  
Harry's scar was burning like crazy.  
  
'Harry, harry. Are you alright?' Ron was slapping his face. Harry sat up, he was feeling rather sick, his scar was burning. He shut his eyes tightly trying to recall his dream.  
  
'What did you see this time. Another attack?' Ron asked anxiously, 'Who is it? Did you just see you-know-who attack Quirrell?'  
  
'It's Voldemort, he's really happy, Wormtail.' said Harry rubbing his scar. The pain was receding. 'Wormtail gave it to him, something Voldemort really wants. I saw it. He took it out of his pocket, gave it to...to you-know-who. Wormtail's got Voldemort a full set of Barbie dolls.'  
  
'What's that?' whispered Ron looking very pale.  
  
'It's sort of muggle figure thing that don't move, my cousin Dudley plays with them.' said Harry rubbing his head and falling back to bed.  
  
'They don't move too? That's scary.' said Ron softly. 'Listen. It's really late, we've still got Quidditch tomorrow, oh if we lose to Slytherin, I going to hide my face for ever, never ever going to show my face again. Maybe I'll leave the school, that way I won't have to face him again. No, he might come and find me, or his dad might, No, I think I'll go and live in Azkaban, there will be loads of dementors, he's afraid of them, yup, that will scare him off. That's what I'll do. But his father is in Azkaban, no no definately not, maybe... Oh Harry tell me what should I do? Harry? Harry? Oh, maybe I'll go to Romania to live in a colony, no, it's for the dragons, how about the forbidden forest, I can live in a herd, no, the centuars will attack me, it's so difficult, so many choices. Let me think... Ah! I KNOW!'  
  
Seamus grunted. Someone else stirred.  
  
'Do you mind?' Harry asked irritated.  
  
'Oops sorry, I think I'll go and live with the Dursleys, you think so? Alright. Alright. I'll keep it down. The Dursleys would be fine. Ok. Goodnight.'   
  
The next morning, they carried their broomsticks down for Quidditch. Hermione offered to carry Harry's so that she could admire it. Neville's face was pale green, he looked like he had just sallowed a bottle of hair spray. Ginny however looked pretty confident. The two beaters were looking nervous. Hooper kept knocking his goblet over.  
  
A new Hufflepuff called Mark Evans (who as Harry remembered, got beatened up by Dudley last year and surprisingly found out that he was a wizard) walked up to them to wish them good luck. Harry found his name strangely familiar.  
  
A big crowd gathered around the Slytherin table. Harry could hear Malfoy shouting over the crowd. He saw Harry and sneered.  
  
'Heard that's he's got a Firebolt like you, Harry.' said Dean.   
  
'Really? A Firebolt? Cool!' said Ron as he ran over to take a better look.   
  
'How'd he get the money, his father's in Akzaban.' said Harry.  
  
'Probably robbed the bank,' said Seamus, 'You-know-who did it once before, he could do it again.'  
  
Snap.  
  
'Harry, I heard that you're the new Gryffindor seeker.' piped Colin holding a camera.   
  
The great door suddenly burst open.  
  
'CAT! Cat in the dangeons! CAT IN THE DANGEONS.' shouted Oliver Wood running in. 'Thought you ought to know.'  
  
Wood fell to the ground. Neville's face turned pink then he too fainted. The rest continued chatting.  
  
Wood woke up. 'Hey! Didn't you hear me properly, I said Cat in the dangeons!' The whole school stared at him as if he was an alien from mars.  
  
'Oh, all right. It was a joke. You should have seen the looks on your faces. It's only Mrs Norris, you don't have to panic. It was a joke. Calm down. Today is Gryffindor versus Slytherin right?' Wood walked in and took his seat beside Hermione. Everyone continued eating.  
  
'All right there, Hermione?' he asked.  
  
'Get lost, this seat is reserved for Vicky.' Hermione said kicking Wood away. He got up and sat beside Ginny instead. He started lecturing Neville and Ginny on his new tactics.  
  
'When Hermione has the quaffle, remember to stay...' Wood was saying.  
  
Dumbledore suddenly walked in with a grave expression on his face. The whole school fell silent immediately. Every head was facing him, following him as he swept quickly past the tables and up to the teacher's.  
  
'May I have you attention please?' said Mcgonagall hitting her goblet with a fork until it broke.  
  
'I have been informed that there was a cat loose in this castle. Now, do not panic, I've called the Aurors to come and catch it, don't worry, they will do a clean job. I hope no one will get hurt. Just don't let come near me.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'Err... professor, it's just Mrs Norris.' said a Ravenclaw boy raising his hand slightly.  
  
'Mrs Norris or Mr Norris, I don't care, just don't panic. Now Rubeus, you will guard the door, in case the cat comes in, Snivellus, you guard the windows.' said Dumbledore importantly.  
  
Harry swore he saw Snape's lips twitched when Dumbledore addressed him.  
  
'I'll not let this cat ruin today. Any one who spot this cat should use the felletone and call this number: " 1800-I-JUST-SPOTTED-A-MYSTERIOUS-DANGEROUS-CREATURE-AND-I-CALLED-THIS-NUMBER-TO-REPORT-WHAT-I-SAW." Thank you.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
Suddenly, Dumbledore's face turned red.  
  
'MERLIN'S BEARD! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??? YOU STARTED BREAKFAST WITHOUT WAITING FOR ME? And I thought you loved me? I am your headmaster. You know that, I know you do. And to think you didn't wait for me when I was only an hour late for breakfast? I didn't want to be late. It's not as if I was late on purpose, I had to powder my face every morning to hide my wrinkles and- Oh no, I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have told you that. Everyone keep quiet. That's top secret that is. But...' Dumbledore's face turned pink,  
  
'Nevermind what I've just said, nothing. Forget it. That's not so secret, err... Oh, Snivelly Snape does ballet. Haha... that's better. Get it?' Dumbledore stood up, smiled and walked away. Snape's (who was standing by the window ) face turned red. He covered his face with his robes and ran away.  
  
Harry and the other Gryffindor quidditch members headed to the quidditch field after breakfast. He was starting to feel nervous already. He could hear the whole school cheering. Neville who just woke up after fainting looked paler than before. Wood was still going on about his plan. Professor Hooch stepped out carrying the trunk with the balls.   
  
Harry looked over at the Slytherins, to his great relief, Malfoy wasn't holding a firebolt.  
  
Crabbe and Goyle were waving their bats violently, snarling at Hooper.  
  
Professor Hooch released the snitch.  
  
'Now get ready, on the count of three. Three... two... one.' Professor Hooch blew the whistle and threw the Quaffle high up into the air. There was a big mess as the chasers fought for the Quaffle. Harry couldn't see who had the Quaffle.  
  
'Blaise passes to... he drops it... good catch by Gryffindor chaser Weasley... passes to...' Colin the new commenter commented. Colin gave Harry a thumbs up when Harry caught his eye. Harry looked around for the snitch, aware that Malfoy was tailing at the back. Suddenly Crabbe and Goyle shot out of somewhere and started whacking everyone. They   
  
hit Ginny, Hooper, A Slytherin chaser and Ron. A penalty was awarded for that.  
  
Harry flew around in search of the golden snitch. Slytherins were leading, ninety to seventy. Harry saw something gold fluttering at the Gryffindor end. His heart leapt.  
  
He turned to see if Malfoy was following him but Malfoy was nowhere in sight. He shot towards the snitch and caught it easily.   
  
'Harry Potter has caught the golden snitch! Harry has the snitch, Gryffindor gets two thousand points! Yes? Professor. I mean a hundred and fifty points. Gryffindor wins!' shouted Colin.  
  
Harry turned to look at Malfoy, only surprised to see laughing madly.  
  
That night, they sat in the Gryffindor common room. Hermione was dancing and singing, 'I'm taller than Harry. I'm taller than Harry.'  
  
Harry kicked her. Hermione fell onto the floor and started breakdancing all over. Ron started cheering her on.  
  
Suddenly, there was a loud crash. Harry turned to the source of the sound. Malfoy had just driven his new black BMW through the wall of the Gryffindor common room.  
  
'Oops, sorry mudblood. Wrong gear, I'm still learning you know. This is hard. Reparo' said Malfoy scratching the back of his ear. The front of his car repaired automatically. He reversed and there was another loud crash.  
  
'Sorry, didn't meant to interrupted, stepped on...' They heard Malfoy saying. Hermione started panicking.  
  
'Oh no, he's found our Gryffindor common room. The enemy has spotted us, found our base. We're all going to die.' She said breathlessly and was on the point of bursting into tears.  
  
'Wicked!' said Ron.  
  
'Oh well, who cares.' said Hermione as she stopped crying and started dancing again. They heard another loud crash outside followed by several screams. All of a sudden, the fireplace burst into green flames. There was another crash but this time it came from the fireplace itself. There was some noisy scraping and a pair of giant legs appeared at the top.   
  
'Whoever that it, they must be stuck up there.' said Ron.  
  
'It's Santa.' breathed Hermione. 'Goodness. And it's not even christmas yet. He must have come to give me presents. I've been a good girl this whole year.'   
  
The person slid down after a few pushes.  
  
'Hi Harry, hi Ron and Hermione. Just wanted ter visit yer. I was bored. This fireplace is too small.' said Hagrid happily.  
  
'Just wanted to talk to you about Sirius.' Hagrid laughed, ' but you don't seem to want to talk about him eh, Harry.' Hagrid laughed loudly.   
  
'Let's play a game instead.' said Hermione who looked determined to change the subject. Hagrid gave a small chuckle.   
  
Why is he laughing? Harry thought angrily.  
  
'Ok, let's play pool, I love playing pool. Accio pool table.' said Ron holding up his wand. They heard more crashes and screams outside. Then, a big pool table came crashing through the wall flying past the common room, hitting Harry and Hermione's head as it flew and bouncing onto Hagrid's body before finally landing onto the floor.  
  
'Oops.' said Ron. Harry felt his head trobbing badly.  
  
'Let's play.' said Ron as he and Hagrid started playing. Harry fell onto an armchair, turned on the radio and quickly found Wireless Wizarding Network. Hermione started breakdancing again.  
  
After a while, Hagrid finally lost to Ron in their pool game. Hagrid started throwing a tantrum. He stormed on the floor while it shook violently. He continued storming and so suddenly, the floor gave way. He fell right through it and they heard a crash below and someone yelling.   
  
Harry ran to the hole and took his place beside Ron. Hagrid was on the level below, lying on a big black mass which turned out to be Malfoy's BMW. Malfoy quickly squirmed out from under Hagrid's knee.   
  
'I can fix that.' said Hagrid quickly.  
  
'Time to get my new car.' said Malfoy as he skipped away.  
  
'Merlin's beard! What was that?' asked Dumbledore wearing his flowery pyjamas as he walked in. He stared for a moment, turned, flapped his arms and flew out of the room.  
  
'I'm taller than Harry. I'm...' Hermione was singing at the back of a frustrated Harry. Ron kicked her this time. Hermione stopped and mend the floor with a wave of her wand. Ron continued playing pool as Hermione started break dancing again. Harry walked up to the wall to repair it but before he could mutter and incantation, a Porche crashed through another part of the wall, flew in and knocked him over.   
  
'Look everyone, my new car. Beautiful isn't it?' Malfoy said laughing happily. Harry got up. Ron and Hermione were gaping at Malfoy. Malfoy started up the engine again and reversed with another loud crash. Through the hole, Harry could see that Malfoy's car had gone through the wall of a bathroom.  
  
'Next time knock before coming in.' Ron called after. There was another scream. Harry repaired the wall and heard more crashes outside.  
  
'I had enough. I'm going back to bed.' Harry announced walking up the stairs.  
  
'Hmm...' came Ron's reply.  
  
'Good night. Harry. Honestly, if they don't start driving properly, this castle is going to collasp, sooner or later.' Hermione said.  
  
'Wicked. Wanna play golf?'   
  
  
  
It was snowing heavily outside, Mcgongall had began taking down names of those who wanted to stay for christmas, Harry and Ron were one of the first few who signed up. Hermione had finally agreed to stay after much persuasion. They were sitting in the library doing their essays. Hermione, as usual had finished hers, she was reading a book on arithmancy while breakdancing. Harry and Ron was doing Snape's essay about the freezing potion. Ernie Mcmillian was doing his charms essay.   
  
Mdm Prince was casting dirty looks at Hermione, but couldn't do anything about it. There was no rule in the library that stated: No Dancing.   
  
'What is this thing about adding toad blood, do we have to chop up trevor, or something?' Ron asked looking uninterested.  
  
Neville burst in so suddenly that Hermione and a few others screamed.  
  
'Trevor? Trevor? Where are you? I heard Trevor's name.' Neville shouted madly. Everyone stared at him. He walked out looking disappointed.  
  
'Blimey, he's must be sick. D'you think that Quirrell took them, I remembered him talking about toad once, I can't remember.' said Ron.  
  
'Quirrell is dead. Besides, I'm pretty sure Percy took them, he loves eating frog legs, probably mistook Trevor for being a frog.' said Ernie.  
  
'What about the toad's poor eyeball? Somebody's gonna have to eat it.' asked Ron grinning.  
  
'What's with the eyeball?' asked Ernie.  
  
'If nobody's going to eat it, I will.' said Ron.  
  
'But don't forget, there are two of them.' said Ernie rolling his eyes.  
  
'Hermione will have the second one.' said Ron.  
  
'I'm not going to eat that thing.' said Hermione flatly.  
  
'Harry?' Ron asked hopefully.  
  
'Hey Ron, what d'you reckon the donkey's liver is-' started Harry.  
  
'Fine then. Let it rot there. Let the poor eyeball rot. The-' said Ron feeling hurt.  
  
There was a loud crash. Mdm Prince screamed.  
  
'Sorry. Forgot to pull the brake.' said Malfoy apologetically as he reversed his yellow car away followed by another crash. Mdm prince took her feather duster and stormed out.  
  
'Hope she roasts him this time.' said Ron.  
  
'Let's go back to the common room.' Harry suggested. They carried their bags and left Ernie Macmillian there talking to himself. 


	4. Who sent those packages

Disclaimer: I do not own HarryPotter and co. They belong to JKR. I only own the plot and the funny sauce, cause I don't know what it is. That's all. No Slashes.  
  
'Ron, what-' Hermione asked.  
  
'Shhh...!' I'm trying to concentrate.' snapped Ron.  
  
'And what's the point may I ask you of-' Hermione asked again. Harry sniggered.  
  
'HERMIONE! Shut up!' Ron screamed. Hermione looked slightly abashed and started mumbling to herself. Harry sniggered again.  
  
The trio were in the Gryffindor common room. Ron was trying to whack his golf ball into a hole in the floor which was about two inches away from the ball. He swung the his cleansweep with all his might and the ball flew across the room and through the window.  
  
'Oops, too hard.' said Ron as he climbed out and flew down to retrive his ball. Harry sniggered again.  
  
'Shut up Harry.' said Hermione. Suddenly, the fire place started burning. Green flame burned as a tall person appeared.'Ahhh! You-know-who! He who must not be named did great things. Terrible but great.' yelled Neville who turned white and fainted.  
  
'Errr... Herm-own-ninny.' said the tall person. It was Krum. He stepped out onto the hearthrug as the fire died away. Harry sniggered. Hermione grabbed her transfiguration book and whacked Harry on his head.  
  
'Ouch! What's that for?' he asked.  
  
'Herm-own-ninny, I need to ask you something.' said Krum.  
  
'Yes?' asked Hermione.  
  
'Do you errr... Do you want to come over to my house this summer?' said Krum quickly. His face turned red. Hermione opened her mouth to answer but Krum interrupted.  
  
'I knew it! Don't bother to tell me! I'm such a loser! Ohh... the sorrow! May the purple cows fill my books this winter!' He yelled as he grabbed a certain bag out from his robes and dumped green powder that looked like CuCO3 out of it and climbed into the fire place.  
  
'The lake with the giant squid ohhhaaaahhhhaaaiiiieeee!' He screamed as he disappeared. Hermione stared as the flames died again with her mouth hanging open.  
  
'Bloody gone! I lost it.' said Ron climbing back through the window panting heavily. Harry sniggered again. Hermione randomly grabbed Trevor on the floor and tossed it at Harry.  
  
Ron fell onto the armchair which had been occupied by Neville before Krum appeared. 'Gone... gone...'  
  
'The raindrops falling on my head. We'll stand together in the lion's jaw... The plant is growing on my head. I'll stand in my mother's mouth...' Harry started singing.  
  
'Shut up. Hey, I'm going back to bed. You guys better finish your Transfiguration homework, you don't want another detention-' said Hermione.  
  
'Right.' said Harry. Hermione left. Suddenly the potrait door opened again. Colin and Dean walked in with a whole mass of people, about twenty of them all whom dressed muggily(like muggles).  
  
'Oh, hi there.' said Dean. Colin grabbed his camera together with many other people and started snapping pictures at the both of them.  
  
'Who are these people?' Harry asked still looking shocked.  
  
'Oh, some tourist, you'd never know how much I can earn from this. I'm giving them a tour of our school. They are simply - amazed. Muggles if you'd like to know.' said Dean proudly.  
  
On the other side, Ron started arranging his hair and robes neatly. He smiled at the crowd, cleared his throat and started introducing himself.  
  
'My name is Ronald Weasley. I am err... a certain number years old. But I can't seem to remember. I am from Gryffindor. I love chocolate frogs. I have a pet owl called Pig, it's actually...'  
  
Suddenly a loud siren sounded through the air.  
  
'Ahhh! Alert! Teachers coming! Everyone quick! Run away!' shouted Dean waving his hands wildly at the panicking mob. There was a scramble to climb through the hole.   
  
'What we do now? I haven't finish my intro.' said Ron clutching his hair desprately. Everyone else was fighting to climb through the hole. After about half an hour of chaos and everyone being kicked, punched, and pushed many times the crowd finally managed to climb back through.  
  
'Owww...' moaned Harry holding his bloody nose.  
  
'Ahhh... They pulled my hair!' cried Ron covering his head with both hands. They heard Dean's voice shouting from outside.  
  
'Sorry everyone, false alarm. Thought Umbridge(though she's gone) might come and check. Ok, who wants to see the dangeon next? Then we'll move to the headmaster's office. Oh ,and did I mention the Slytherin's common room...'  
  
'What's all that racket?' said Seamus rubbing his eyes and walking down the stairs, 'I heard Dean's voice.'  
  
'Nothing.' said Harry walking past Seamus with Ron following him.  
  
'I love the durian's accent!' Seamus called after them as they closed the door.  
  
'Durians talk?' asked Ron, 'I'm so sleepy I'm gonna sleep.'  
  
  
  
The next morning, they sat in the great hall for breakfast. Ron took his goblet and scooped some chocolated flavoured marshmallow sauce from a large bowl on table where they dipped their food into. He took a large gulp(which was the whole goblet), gurgled and spat it back into the large bowl. Harry looked disgusted. Neville turned white and fainted again. Hermione looked shocked. Wood (though he graduated a long time ago) however dipped his mouldy looking bread into it and continued eating, oblivious to what Ron had done.  
  
'Ron, what are you doing?' asked Hermione.  
  
'Cleaning mouth that's what I'm doing. Isn't that obvious?' He replied.  
  
'You forgot the peppermint leaf.' said Hermione.  
  
'Oh.' Ron scooped the sauce again, this time adding peppermint leaf. He gurgled and spitted it into Ginny's face.  
  
'Look! The mail's here' said Fred (he graduated too) pointing. Owls were swooping up and down, around the great hall looking for their owners to deliver their mails. A small owl swooped down and dropped a small brown package onto Ron's plate.  
  
'What's this?' Ron asked holding the package up high so that Harry could see, 'Who sent it? There's no name. Wicked Harry, maybe Dumbledore sent it to me, it must be an invisibility cloak! Thank you Dumbledore! I'd always wanted one.'   
  
'Don't be stupid Ron, it's too small to be one. Besides, the cloak would be soft.' said Hermione smiling. Just then, another snowy owl flew down and dropped a similar package onto Harry's head.  
  
'What? I have one too?' exclaimed Harry.  
  
'Blimey. Who'd - wait. I think I know who sent it.' said Ron casting the evil eye at Hermione.  
  
'Who?' asked Hermione, her smile getting wider.  
  
'You really want to know?' asked Ron looking happier and more evil than ever.  
  
'Yes.' said Hermione, her smile too was getting evil.  
  
'Really?' Ron grinned even wider.  
  
'Really.' said Hermione still smiling.  
  
'Really? You sure?' Ron grinned until his lips were in danger of splitting(Grinch not Grint).  
  
'Yeah, really.' said Hermione who stopped grinning because she got too tired to do so.  
  
'Cut it out, you two.' said Harry starting to feel annoyed. Hermione smiled again because everything rushed to her mouth and she suddenly had energy to smile and she felt like doing so.  
  
'Ok, you-know-who sent it. Just joking. Harry, remember the year you received your firebolt? You - I mean I thought Dumbledore sent it? But it turned out to be Sirius.' said Ron. Hermione's smile disappeared again.  
  
'Yeah, so?' sasked Harry.  
  
'So I figured out Sirius must have sent us more Firebolts.' said Ron looking happy at his brilliance.  
  
'Ron, this doesn't look like broomsticks at all. It's not one bit like a broomstick. It's too small and it don't even shape-' Ginny said wisely.  
  
'How do you know? You'll see.' Ron cut in as he began ripping the package open. It turned out to be a book. Ron's face fell and turned red.  
  
'See.' said George smiling at Ron. Ginny smiled plesantly.  
  
'Ok. Fine, it's not a firebolt, still I bet you everything Sirius secretly sent it. Actually, I knew it wasn't a firebolt, he wouldn't have the money to-' started Ron.  
  
'Sirius is dead. Ron.' said Harry not knowing what made him do it.  
  
'Oh. Then, I wonder who did it?' said Hermione sarcasticly.  
  
'Let me guess, Harry, did you send it?' asked Ron. Hermione glared at Ron. Harry ripped open his package. The book turned out to be a-  
  
'Homework Diary?' said Harry looking disgusted.  
  
'Got that right. Ten points for Harry.' said Hermione looking as if her birthday had came early.  
  
'Not counted. But that doesn't tell us who sent it.' whined Ron.  
  
'Hermione sent it.' said Ginny nodding her head wisely. Hermione blushed.  
  
'How'd you know. Hermione, did you send this?' asked Ron. Hermione nodded blushing even more.  
  
'But - again? I thought last year you gave us these too. And it was for Christmas. What's the special occasion?' asked Harry.  
  
'Oh, you don't have to have a special occasion to give something to someone.' said Ginny wisely.  
  
'Oh, no, it's for Christmas, and it's this year.' said Hermione her face reddening even more.  
  
'But Christmas is ages away.' said Charlie(who graduated evem before Harry entered Hogwarts).  
  
'Happy early Christmas.' said Hermione.  
  
'And do you have to send it through post? Can't you just give it to us?' asked Ron.  
  
'Oh it's more surprising this way.' said Hermione as she blushed and walked away.  
  
  
  
PS. Ron and Hermione are not evil. 


End file.
